“Lemme go or I’ll hit you again,”
shouted Brer Rabbit.
The Tar Baby, she said nothing.
“Fine! Be that way,” said Brer Rabbit, swinging at the Tar Baby with his free paw.
Now both his paws were stuck in the tar.
– Brer Rabbit and the Tar-Baby,
retold by S.E. Schlosser
Few people understand that what you focus on becomes part of your experience. And the more you focus on it, the bigger it gets.
Most people focus on the struggle – pushing away what they don’t want to try to get more of what they do want, focusing on problems in order to “resolve” them. We see quite a lot of that in traditional approaches to recovery and healing.
It just doesn’t make sense to try to get rid of something by focusing your attention on it. The more you engage your mind with the problem, the more you are stuck there – It’s like Tar-Baby.
Instead of trying to fix the “illness” – talking about it, examining it, unraveling it, regretting it, reliving it – we encourage people to focus their time and energy on building a new kind of life – practicing a healthy lifestyle, healthy thinking, healthy relationships, finding a sense of purpose. Build up those things and the symptoms fade. They get replaced with health.
Is it work? Absolutely.
But focusing on what you want is a more direct route because it puts the power of momentum on your side.
And it feels better!
Take a minute and ask yourself – for whatever problem you are facing – what focus will bring healing into your experience?