“Only through time, time is conquered.”
- T.S. Eliot
I live my life as if my time is limited. You can only do so many things, fit so many things, into a day, a month, a lifetime. I don’t want to waste a minute on what I HAVE to do – I want to spend it all on what I WANT to do. I have no energy to spare on thoughts that pull me down. That’s time management.
The passage of time has turned my hair a charcoal gray, an ashen shadow that summons the threat of losing all these things I am meant to do – the creativity that hasn’t yet turned into expression – and the urgency of holding onto time with the people I love. Demanding a future. The right to be here, to cherish and adore and protect them.
Fleeting moments. My past is filled with them. My daughter turns 18 next week. And I want to be here for all the rest of it – all those sparkling moments. There’s a myth about independence. We really do need each other, even when we’re grown. I want to be here, for her. And for Charles. Just to be with him. For no other reason than that simple comfort. And the knowing that I am that for him. Without me, he has no anchor.
My yearning for transcendence comes, at least in part, from my sense that my time is limited. And the need to find a way to get beyond time while I’m here.
Kai Chi Do without Music?
The Lovable Francine
I just wanted to share a recent experience at my last Kai Chi Do class. This experience taught me the importance of dropping out of the monkey mind and and stepping into the LOVE and allowing the WORLD to meet YOU.
I began the practice with The End of Suffering, only to have my music source die as we started to enter the hand positions for the Future. After scrambling for a few minutes I let it all go and reassembled everyone who showed up to bring us back to finishing the opening root. Into the hand positions of the FUTURE and as I am feeling the anxiety and anxiousness of how this is all going to happen without music, I surrender to the moment. I surrender the perception that I need music (a playlist) to do Kai Chi Do. I surrender to the love and laugh, and then breathe and allow the group to meet me as we embark upon the journey of our breath together as ONE.
It was one of the most powerful circles in teaching me the importance of allowing what is and allowing the LOVE/WORLD to meet me and share what comes through, knowing it is.
Blessings my fellow teachers. XO
Chakra Meditation: Music by Tazdeen Rashid & Meditation by Charles Robinson
Taz and Chaz put together this meditation in support of Chakra Sorbet, the sublime flavors creation of friend and fellow traveler Eric Stein, with tastes like Raspberry-Cayenne and Ginger-lemonade. Certainly spins my Energy wheels! After all, our senses deserve enlightening too, don’t you think? Listen with you whole body. Just click the Guided Chakra Journey.
When my life situation is too painful or overwhelming, my mantra is “I am the soul that lives within.” I say it to myself, desperately at first, until I can feel it. I repeat it mentally, summon my connection with that part of myself, until suddenly my perspective shifts. Have you seen Gestalt images? The ones where your eye has to switch background and foreground to see two different images; Is it a ghoul or an embrace?
I am the soul that lives within. I am that safe, timeless, eternal, limitless spark of the Divine.
I reach for it. And in the moment that I identify myself as that soul, feel myself as that being, the mortal wounds feel smaller and further away, almost the way memories do. One minute I’m embedded in the struggle, unable to breathe and the next I’m outside it, not just breathing but become the air.
And I feel a sense of relief. I suppose it’s because, to the Energy that creates worlds, anything is possible. And also because, I really am that soul.
It’s just a matter of flipping perspective. Which me do you see?