The Lonely Invitation
It’s a big revelation when you discover that you are the only one who can make you happy.
It takes more than another person to satisfy loneliness. In fact, being with others can make you feel even more lonely. Other people may just provide a distraction from the need that your loneliness is communicating to you.
Loneliness is an invitation to deepen the relationship with yourself.
What part of yourself is calling out for understanding? Listen quietly. Explore your wants and needs, and challenge yourself to find your inspiration.
At a conscious level, you might begin to explore your own interests and preferences, trying something new – a new book, a class, a new project. Try something you haven’t done before. Revisit the process of self-discovery – what you like, what you don’t like, what you want, what you don’t want.
Use the past – the images and memories of the way it was – to be more clear in your desire Use past pain to fuel clarity. Knowing what you don’t want helps you design a clear picture about what you do want. Once you’ve identified what you do want, once you’ve come to that conclusion, you put your attention and focus on what you do want, how you want it to be now.
When you have new insights and conclusions, write them down. It will help you to remember them. We call them “bright spots,” those “ah-hah!” moments. They’re your treasures of clarity and realization.
As you deepen the relationship with yourself, it expands your consciousness. You begin to see life from a broader perspective, that keeps life interesting.
You raise your awareness by releasing resistance, relieving the pressure that you have on yourself.
What would relieve that pressure? Trying new activities is fun. But don’t be trapped by the action. It’s not the hobby that satisfies you. It’s not the cooking or the craft or the travel. It’s not more people, or other people.
It’s the inspiration that satisfies you. It’s the meaning that satisfies you.
Exploration is not a push. It’s a pull. The meaning pulls you to explore.
The meaning creates the motivation or drive for what you desire. It’s not enough to DO something to satisfy loneliness. It’s not enough to look for new people.
You don’t need more relationships. You’re just seeking a feeling. The feeling of Oneness.
There is depth to quiet. Be a witness – without doing anything, without being busy. Be a witness to yourself, with kindness. There’s a part of us that is constantly giving us information about what action to take. The question is whether we are fighting with that aspect of ourselves, that’s trying to provide us with feedback about the situation or circumstance that we find ourselves in, or whether we are listening and allowing that feeling that’s trying to get across a message, to communicate to us in a way that is effective.
Learn to listen to the part of you that has the answers. Listen to the part of you that knows how to respond to whatever situation – we can call it the curriculum – that you find yourself in.
Connect with your own being, without running, without distraction. It’s safe to be still.
A meaning, a purpose, a thought will come to you, pulled by your desire. And it will satisfy something deep within you.
Once you make that connection to yourself, you won’t feel so lonely. And you can expand your deep inner connection to others.
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