Recovery

The Value of Upset – Dancing on the Volcano

by Susan Robinson on May 4, 2012

How can you use a conflict or upset as something that will benefit your own healing process?  Use the strength of your emotion to fuel change.  You can feel the power in your emotion.   Use that power for good.

Everything that we’re projecting as far as the way people are, the way situations are, is based on our previous experiences and the conclusions we’ve drawn about how life is. It’s all based on how it’s been, how it was before.  We really never get the opportunity to fully appreciate and experience how it is.

Your beliefs influence your experiences.  Your beliefs create expectations.  You brought your beliefs into your upset or conflict.  They may even have contributed to the upset.   They influence how you behave. They influence how you interpret the behavior of others.  They define the limits of what you believe is possible.

But in the present moment, you get to choose. Knowing what you don’t want gives you the chance to decide what you want, to declare it clearly – to yell it at the Universe if you have to.  I’ve had this experience in the past and now I know, I don’t want that! I want this instead. I want this!

You know you’re stuck in the past when your beliefs are interfering with what you want and desire. Your beliefs are so very real to you.  But even when you’ve formed beliefs that take you out of alignment with what you want, even when your past experiences weren’t what you hoped for, even when you wander, you can still find your way home – you can still find your way into a clean new perspective in the present moment. You have beliefs – They don’t have you.

No matter how bad the upset, you can find a thought that will move you in the direction of what you want – move you in the direction of the life you hope for.  No matter how bad the upset you can find a meaning that serves you.

Quiet your mind for a moment.  Withdraw your attention from how things are. And imagine how you want them to be.

Create a belief that is in alignment with that vision.

A belief is just a thought that feels true to you.  Reach for a thought that feels true to you and is ALSO in alignment with what you want.  A thought that moves you forward instead of taking you back.  A thought that feels better, that gives you relief, that allows you to take a deep breath.  A NEW THOUGHT.

Finding a new set of beliefs is not the same as being hopeful.  It’s not making wishes and hoping they’ll come true.

Finding a new belief is a statement of your truth – without contradiction, without doubt, without justification.  Choose it wisely.  Invest your energy in beliefs that open new possibilities.

You decide.  No one else.  You decide your worth.  No one else, no force outside you, holds that power. Your beliefs are your declaration to the Universe.  Your thoughts, your beliefs, define your intentions.

Take action. But bring your beliefs into alignment with your goals first.  Then you take action from a place of inspiration, not desperation.

The value of upset is twofold – That upset is generating pure raw emotional power and you’ve also got absolute clarity about what you want.  The bigger the upset, the bigger the clarity and the more intense the emotion!  You decide how you want to use that power.  You can feed old beliefs, the same beliefs that brought you here.  Or you can use that power to fuel your new creation.

Special thanks to by Angela Marie  for her “Dancing on the Volcano” illustration on Flickr.
Shared under Creative Commons BY-ND.

 

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Wedding Ceremony for Reconnection with the Soul

by Susan Robinson on March 6, 2012

Wedding Ceremony For Reconnection with the Soul

 

Introduction
The Healing community of Kai Chi Do extends a positive warm welcome to all who have come to witness this sacred union between the Psyche and the Soul.

Please Silence your cell phones and pagers during the wedding process.

Call For the Soul
On this 6th Day of March 2012. “(Your Name) please bring your precious Soul to the Altar of Divine Union.”

Welcome
Welcome, family and friends to the sacred Marital Ceremony of the Soul and the Psyche. This is a very auspicious moment in time where the vibrant and eternal soul embraces the psyche, and the Spirit and the Mind vow to live as One. The marital ceremony is a special celebration where the illusion of separateness dissolves into the truth of Oneness.

This is a very special time for the coming together of our Being.  I would like to extend a warm positive intention for long life, health and good fortune to all of the members of this sacred union.  May you all live long and experience endless moments of true joy and happiness.

It is a great responsibility to give and receive a vow of eternal love and a life-long commitment to live in a unified way. The Four Agreements for Intimate Relationships is a guide and model for creating balance and harmony within the sacred union of Soul and Psyche.  This is a loving way to establish balance in your relationship with the world.

The Four Agreements
The first agreement is that The Relationship Comes First, which means that we value this union and assure it is nurtured before we pursue other ambitions.  We are willing to listen to the needs and wants of both Soul and Psyche, Spirit and Mind.  The goal of this first agreement is to reconcile any disharmony between Psyche and Soul, to find answers and balance in the middle road, where all aspects of our being are considered when making vital life decisions.  We begin the First Agreement by sitting quietly and listening to the still quiet messenger.

The second agreement is that Nothing comes between us, which means that a clear boundary is set with the attitudes, beliefs and desires of other people. The goal of this agreement is to create a clean and safe sanctuary where life decisions can be made.  Support and counsel is therefore sought from both the Psyche and the Soul, to keep the sacred bond harmonized.

The third agreement is that Everything we have, we have Together, which means that we take complete ownership our physical, mental emotional and spiritual natures.  We take ownership for our experiences.  The goal of this agreement is to embrace all aspects of our Self, both the Divine and the human natures, without sacrificing  either Soul or Psyche, without rejecting any aspect of ourselves.

The fourth and final agreement is that Leaving is not an option.  As a unified and blended being we have a commitment to stay present physically and emotionally in this sacred relationship. The goal of this agreement is to stay connected from a place of love and compassion through the endless movements of time.

Based on these four Agreements for Intimate Relationships, (Your Name) what is your declaration to your Soul?

Exchange of Vows
Eternal and Infinite Spirit, we are gathered here today to join this Psyche and this Soul in a sacred bond of marriage.
(Your Name) are you willing to open your mind and heart in a moment of liberation and truth?
(Answer, “I DO”).

Right of Passage
Please repeat after me: On this 6th day of March, I (Your Name) now completely accept that I am willing to embrace the essence of my being in a sacred union throughout all time, space and dimension.

Pronouncement
Please connect with your heart.
“By virtue of the authority vested in me under the laws of the Universe I now pronounce you a unified being”.
(Your Name) “You may now embrace your Truth.”

Many Blessings.

Twin Buddhas photo © Unclesam – Fotolia.com

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Inviting the Light: Finding Life Direction

by Susan Robinson on December 21, 2010

Camera phone photo, Fire Meditation 12/18/10

“I talk to my inner lover, and I say, why such rush?
We sense that there is some sort of spirit that loves
birds and animals and the ants–
perhaps the same one who gave a radiance to you
in your mother’s womb.
Is it logical you would be walking around entirely orphaned now?
The truth is you turned away yourself,
and decided to go into the dark alone.

Now you are tangled up in others, and have forgotten
what you once knew,
and that’s why everything you do has some weird sense of failure in it.

— Kabir (1440-1518)

Once you have awareness, you can make decisions that take your life in a new direction.  You can begin to give to yourself what you have longed for.

The past can haunt us, if we let it.  Events that happened.  Things said.  Beliefs we took on or formed in the moment of an upset.  Whose voice is that?  Is it useful?

If you’re not happy along the way, then how did you succeed?

You’ve been in a certain pattern and even though you may have an understanding that you want things to be different, you haven’t really come to a conclusion about how to have things be different in a way that is satisfying.  You keep going back to the need to bring things to another level of satisfaction. You have understanding but you haven’t decided to do it differently.  And then deciding HOW to do things differently.

There’s a part of us that is constantly giving us information about what action to take.  The question is whether we are fighting with that aspect of ourselves, that’s trying to provide us with feedback about the situation or circumstance that we find ourselves in, or whether we are listening and allowing that feeling that’s trying to get across a message, to communicate to us in a way that is effective.

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Environ-Mental Health: fixing the cracks in our consciousness

by Susan Robinson on November 23, 2010

The chimney is getting a makeover today.  It’s mental health feng shui.  We’re catching up on home repairs.

The cracks in the chimney finally came to the surface of my consciousness.  It’s been crumbling for months.  I remember glancing up when I walked the dogs, and seeing the cracks, and it was like only my eyes saw them.  My brain took little notice.  I remember there was a single snippet of thought once, that “we probably need to get that fixed,” a millisecond brain check on whether we knew how to get it done, and then my attention was elsewhere.  Barely a blip in the radar.

But it was there.  Sending me a message.

Have you ever heard of the Broken Windows theory?  Malcolm Gladwell talks about it in his book, The Tipping Point.   The theory says that broken windows in urban neighborhoods send a message, and the message is that crime is tolerated.  It sends a message, “This place is neglected. “  And where vandalism is the norm, crime escalates.  If you fix the broken windows, you nip the problem in the bud, so to speak.  You intervene when the problem is still small.  Fix the broken windows and you send the message, “Someone’s keeping an eye on what goes on here.  We care about this place and we’re keeping it orderly.”

It all starts with a signal, a meaning we interpret from the environment.  Research has shown that fixing the “broken windows,” fixing the environmental signals in a neighborhood, is more effective at reducing crime than misdemeanor arrests.  Prevention is more effective than punishment.

I think fixing the chimney is more than just a way to keep out the rain.  The cracks were sending us a subtle, below the radar, message – of tiny decay.  And fixing up the house, getting repairs completed, sends a different signal.  It’s a visual affirmation of well-being.

And the visual self-talk seems even more direct than words.  We feel it, rather than think it.  We fixed a little crack in our consciousness.

Do you have any cracks that need fixing?

Tree-House image by danimages @ fotolia.com

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Action Cures Procrastination

by Susan Robinson on November 18, 2010

Move and the way will open.
—  Zen proverb

*

We talk to so many people who avoid their spiritual practices when they are feeling lousy.  Then they regret not doing them, and feel guilty and then feel worse and feeling worse is more immobilizing and…they’re stuck in the struggle.  Call it spiritual procrastination.

Procrastination is draining – and it doesn’t help your fatigue.  It actually makes you feel more frustrated, more bored, more lethargic to avoid actions that you believe will be uncomfortable.  The belief is what’s limiting you.  You’re uncomfortable where you are but you’ve concluded that if you take action, it will increase your discomfort.  Then you feel trapped.  You feel that there is no way out.

Skip the struggle.  Quit trying to figure it out.  Don’t psychoanalyze.  Just move.  Do…something.

When we first moved to Florida, it was months before Charles found a job.  He was finishing his Master’s degree in counseling, but couldn’t find work in the field.  So he finally decided to take a job raking recycled roofing chips.  True story!  And – not surprisingly – he got a job offer in behavioral health a week later.

Action is medicine.

Once you recognize that you’re procrastinating, take the actions that are within range.  Do what’s realistic.

Don’t expect your dream job.  Don’t expect to scale Mount Everest and perform open heart surgery in the same day – If you expect so much of yourself that you’re bound to fail, you’ll end up in the cycle of hopelessness and self-criticism and more avoidance.  Don’t expect Nirvana – just expect to feel a little better (and that’s enlightening enough).

Procrastination is a lousy cure for fear of failure.  Your avoidance just confirms the belief that you can’t accomplish what you’ve hoped and dreamed of.  You never get to discover what will happen if you try – if you take action.  You never get to discover that you are capable of more than you ever imagined – more courage, more determination, more creativity, more brilliant uniqueness, more joy.  More sweat.

Do what’s possible, even if it’s not your ideal.  Even if it doesn’t look to anyone else like you’ve accomplished anything.  Take action, even if it’s just tiny small steps.  Action starts the process of movement – not just physically, but also energetically and emotionally.  Your energy starts to flow, and that’s invigorating.  Energy flowing leads to more energy.  Reducing resistance makes you open to receive.

Mind-body-spirit-relationships.  It’s all mashed together. Get your energy flowing in any part of your being, and you get the energy flowing to all of it.

Photo by Wayne National Forest’s photostream, on Flickr, Creative Commons Attribution 2.0

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